One of my frats (Skee-Phi!) got me hip to this site a while back and upon randomly browsing, I came across a piece entitled, "Why ARE Black Women So Big?". In my heart of hearts, I was naively hopeful the subject line was merely an attention-grabber needed, to actually incite meaningful conversation on the topic - so I wasn't too alarmed. However, as I read it's entirety ... I was sadly disappointed. While there were some valid points ...
"... as slaves, we ate the scraps given to us. We ate the crap the Master didn’t want. So we had to make do and those unhealthy recipies for down home Southern cooking was passed down throughout the generations. But now we have new info..THAT S*** AINT GOOD FOR US."
... it was combated by surface causation to black women being bigger than our counterparts, exacerbated generalizations and isolated experiences to the author - sprinkled with insults.
Maybe I was just being sen-si-tiiiive as Kanye would say, standing at 257lbs at one point in my life, mind you. But as people who obviously felt some kind of way about the post's tone (as I did) started to comment, the author's replies were even more offensive:
"... You failed to understand this post was about health. I’m KNOW you are overweight cause you got mad enough to take this as a personal attack towards you and your obese friends. Now that you got that off your chest..do you promise to eat right and take your mad, working at lane bryant ass to the gym or the track and work out. Perhaps if you did, it would relieve of you of some of that pent up bein overweight anger you possess. You will feel a lot better."
"Obese people resemble Hippos…*shrugs*…if they like looking that way..then they dont have to read any further..I will not apologize for stating my opinion..no matter how mean it may seem."
At that point, I realized this wasn't meant to help. This appeared to be contrived to exploit and demean the subjects of a widespread epidemic, errr ... or to get traffic? Either motive, the author succeeded, bravo! All of that aside, what stopped me dead in my tracks was this:
"To you unhealthy size 16 women who write all these “We aren’t all a size two posts”. Please sit down and just accept that you are overweight and stop glorifying it. If you are heavier than your man (unless you just like your men bony) then you should be ashamed of yourself."
To imply a black woman of size should be ashamed of herself!? Oh, no ma'am. The last thing a woman obviously suffering internally with potential insecurities or misdirection needs to do is be SHAMED into anything! How is that 'healthy'? And, of course there were the anticipated 'yeah black women are gross, fat and lazy' comments from unpictured males, who probably haven't had a woman since Will Smith got 'Jiggy With It'. I think they come from the same breed as those, 'why I don't date black women' commenters - easily found on your nearest Bossip, MTO, and hell - FreshExpress post, lol.
Do I believe obesity should be accepted? Absolutely NOT, specifically in MY community and I make that clear everyday. It's not healthy, we in fact need to do better if we wish to thrive. But, it's how you say it.We as a race have had enough belittlement cast upon us, warranted or not. I totally walked away with a feeling of; this obviously non-hippo-looking woman, just sh***ed on everyone who was above a size 8. Adding salt to the e-wound, the post's feature picture was of fictional 'Rasputia' as played by Eddie Murphy in Norbit, of course.
I'd be remiss if I didn't advise, in her conclusion, she posed the question of what can we do as a community to get healthier. Aww, how sweet. Here's a start and gratefully most are already in effect or expansion:
We terminate the internal bashing, juvenile ridicule and subtle "shots".
We open up meaningful forums for dialogue, initiated by those with genuine interest and concern.
We create blogs/vlogs and produce literature to share our health journeys and garner support.
We research and educate ourselves, our families, our friends, our neighbors.
We acknowledge mental and behavioral health as a valid factor, in addition to diet and exercise regimens.
We start community fitness/nutrition support groups and programs.
We solicit funding and volunteer at free health check-up drives (you wouldn't believe how many lives change, once blood pressure and/or glucose levels are disclosed).
We let our money speak for itself and rally vendors for healthier options, in our neighborhood markets.
We charge our elected officials to push for adequate recreational facilities and the resources to maintain them.
We empower and enlighten, under the beautiful light of positivity.... you know, stuff like that.
~PC

PREACH!!!
ReplyDeletePaula this was an excellent response. Unfortunately her opinion isn't unique. I did go and check it out and like you,thought it was full of big girl jabs. It would kill people to realize we don't all sit on the couch eating popeye's chicken by the hour. Some of us work 12 hour days, raise kids and put little thought in taking care of ourselves because we're handling everyone else. That's not to throw out excuses and I KNOW we (I) need to do better, but this is not the way to go about it.
ReplyDeleteHold up, what got my PC all riled up!? Whoa. She did have some good points (i.e. the adverse results of obesity being glorified), but stating that is useless if you turn around and say fat people look like hippos. Like, really? Hippos? SMH
ReplyDeleteI think if like-minded individuals would pull one of those bulletpoints at the end of your post (or add their own), took accountability and acted on them, we as a community would be in far better shape.
ReplyDeletePay no mind to senseless bull and folks throwing pebbles. Just keep doing what you do.
I came across that post on yesterday and was floored by some of the foolishness I read! I'm not one for confrontation so I didn't reply, nor did I think it would matter since they all had their minds made up to bash....but you put this very nicely. That is all ;)
ReplyDeleteYou forgot about the "I'm small " co-signage. Ugh. That was dreadful.
ReplyDeleteLoved your response and this post. I'm just saying... these kinds of things keep me from reading certain blogs. Not only is her body of work not very well written for receiving national exposure, but you're also correct in that her work is only half done. She only took time to thoroughly insert the knife and twist it. She had no intention of pulling the knife out and packing the wound and nursing us back to health. As far as she is concerned, we hippos can die on the side of the road.
ReplyDeleteYou know, she does a lot of justifying- "if you're X size and you already do X, I'm not talking to you." But she IS. Because some of us have BEEN a 22. Some of us have HAD health scares that got us on the path to weight loss. Some of us have BEEN the hippo that she describes. She's talking to ALL of us, fat OR thin. We are a community... man, I'm just sick of seeing the attacks on black women and I'm sick of seeing those attacks come FROM Black women.
AN-T-WAY-- I meant to simply applaud your well worded response and your restraint. If all bloggers who pretended to care about why we (and Gabby) are SO fat actually had something new and helpful to say, it would go a long way toward helping and not causing the problem.
As it is, that post is nothing but a rant by a Mean Girl.
After losing enough weight to make it to a size 4 today, I still found the original post extremely offensive. It was almost mean-spirited, if you ask me. The author needs to take off their mask of concern, because I and apparently everyone else can see right through it for what it really was. If people want to address issues, they should at least be respectful! That was a total miss.
ReplyDeleteFrom the top, I'm screaming SKEE-WEE! I'm so glad I found your site today Soror.
ReplyDeleteOn subject: I don't care to read the original post (between you and other people's reaction I get the point) but like someone else mentioned her view is not unique. We can't change people's ignorance. It probably was like most of the other stuff I've been baited to reading on FreshXP, subjects watered down to black women/men hate talk and jokes. Miss me with it.
I'm an oh so pretty woman who happens to be a size 16. We as black women need to stand tall and proud and willing to do what's best for ourselves and our families! Nothing we do for betterment should be derived from "shame".
If "hippo" is the best way to describe an obese person, we aren't figthing against much intellect here LOL.
ReplyDeleteI'm more impressed with the ten items on your list! I know you're interwined with a few of them, but seeing it displayed is sparking some interest on my part to get involved and create my own action plan!
#TeamHippos
"We empower and enlighten, under the beautiful light of positivity."
ReplyDeleteAt the end of the day, that's the beacon that is going to get people to notice our ways and how to improve our health. That's how you solve problems, you uplift.
You know I love everything you've written here, Soror. Especially the positivity at the end. Beautiful way to finish it off. :)
ReplyDeleteWow, that post has sparked a lot of talk about black women being overweight. That is excellent! While I think that she could have used some compassion, it is a serious issue.
ReplyDeleteI am current trying to live healthier. But it pains me to see parent setting a bad example for their children or generations of overweight women. I have stopped buying chips, juice boxes and some processed foods in my house. I am started cooking more veggies and eating brown rice. I’m responsible for keeping my family healthy and I take that very serious.
I am sure the author knows its not every overweight person. But lets be real there is a major problem with obesity in the US.
I totally agree Soror! I had to get my 2cents up in there!
ReplyDeleteThanks everyone for sharing your thoughts.
ReplyDeleteCurvy Jones your comments about us being a community are so pivotal and if anything is to be taken from this, that's it!
Thank you Soror Erika, and I loved your take on this matter, as well!
Nicole B, I agree with you. I will never (and never have, to some people's dismay) discount the fact that the obesity epedemic we face is harmful. I merely despise exploitation. Like, don't tell me you care about my health as a black woman and use Rasputia, as the visual symbol. I have fun with this genre of blogging too, I'm sometimes controversial, but there's a distinction between sharing a message of substance and distastefulness. But thank you for your insight and congrats on the model efforts you make on behalf of you and your family's well-being! :o).
The issue's importance supersedes the site's blatant diss for hits, post. It just so happened to be directed towards a matter, I am very PASSIONATE about (as are many others). I'm still on my journey and know that even when I'm done, my work in this cause, will not be. So naturally, I'm going to take offense. I was once that 'hippo' she spoke of too and actually, I still think I am - wearing a size 10, according to her clinical barriers of acceptable sizes. D'oh! I rarely go on rants outside of product/news ridiculousness, but I had some free time, lol.
I respect people's varied opinions, but when they are laced with malice? Naw. I highly doubt the author cares about reputable responses - hence the adolescent rebuttals and tweets indicating a 'stampede' was now following her on the blog/twitter. I could imagine any follow-ups on TFXP would ring of re-iteration, for even more hits/banter, but I'll be tardy for that party (oooh-oh-oh).
If you're not a part of the progressive solution ... feel free to take a seat. Us big girls, prior big girls and never-was big girls with good intentions, will figure this out without your "help". Ultimately, the author (and those who hold the same disgusting outlook) sound like idiots and "I won't apologize for stating my opinion .... no matter how mean it may seem." (see what I just did there?)
Damn PC, I have NEVER seen this side of you on the blog before! You've gotten close, but never this close ROFL! I'm not put off though, you simply articulated how most of us felt after reading that poor excuse for a call to action. Your list = A++. Now let's continue or get to work, save our communities and look past these detractions.
ReplyDeleteI think this was a topic where many of us are going to have to agree to disagree. From the original post's extreme and candid POV it holds some merit, but my goodness -- it's a blessing to know people on that other extreme end that are passionate. There's no denying that effort, but we have to be honest, black women don't generally blog/advocate about health and fitness. If all of y'all who do hit the ground running keep doing what you do, their degrading shock posts wouldn't even have a foundation. Good work here, nonetheless!
ReplyDeleteUr a good girl, putting it politely LMBO. Shhiiiii after reading through that BS on The Fresh Express all I could think to say was b(*&% pleeeease!. I guess thats why you blog and I don't LMAO!? *shrugs*
ReplyDeleteI know the dust is settling a bit since the post first came out, but this was a great response.
ReplyDeleteI love your list. I would love to add... get the kids involved. I see far too many young beautiful girls (and guys) who are dangerously obese. It breaks my heart to know that these girls will likely be on blood pressure meds by the time they are 25. Many of them are already showing signs of early diabetes at 16 and 17. Heartbreaking!
ReplyDelete