Finally, a voice. Some may know that I suffer from Multiple Sclerosis & associated Trigeminal Neuralgia. I find it so hard to explain to friends and family members what I go through (when asked), sometimes ... I deem it impossible. MSers have unique experiences ... but I came to tears from a personal relevant standpoint watching Montell Williams eloquently speak on what he has experienced over the years ... from the physical elements to mental weakness, and even his loss of will to live (suicide rates are staggering among MS patients via depression) ...
Why is this relevant to me and weight loss??? ... When I was diagnosed in 2005 (the same year I lost my father) after being misdiagnosed for a year with a pituitary tumor (that was supposed to subside on it's own) ... I went from a solid 180lbs ... up to the 240s. I dealt with MY disease with food ... It soothed me, it took my mind off of my pain ... It for a moment, eased me ... whenever my vision was lost ... When I couldn't walk ... food was still there ... somewhere ... within reach ... to bring me some twisted form of joy & comfort ... despite my situation ...
I have had a few minor episodes this year, but all manageable (as Montell explains, you learn to cope) and I recovered soon. And I truly thank God for that! But it's ever present. I live my life on edge waiting for my next "attack" it seems. But, I used to feel like if I'm going to be disabled, what's the point in me even going to class to day ... or going to the gym ... after getting some disappointing news about the location of many of the lesions on my brain ... and shoot ... I won't care if I'm fat ... if I can't even see!!! And let's not forget ... who's going to fall in love with me if I'm like this???
However, as in most of my life lessons (to date) I had to mature ... look at the bigger picture ... It's chronic ... Junk food is NOT a cure ... I have people that love me regardless ... I'm not the only person in this world who suffers, and I know there are those who have it worse than me ... The doctor said my lesions have the potential to halt independent mobility within the next 5 years. But, GOD has the final say on that (mind you it's 4 years later ... and I'm spinning ...lol). And if things do get worse I'm going to be one skinny, healthy-as-can-be ... hot chick with a cane ;)
I refuse to succumb to mediocrity. I see it as a challenge ... I'm on a weight loss journey ... AND I have MS ... If I can do it ... (you know the rest ...;) ... like I said ... NO EXCUSES ... not even MS.
"This is what God gave me. So rather than to look at it as a bane, it's gotta be a gift. So let me work it as a gift." ~ Montell Williams